Three Working Moms Tell it Like it Is
Being a mother is hard work. To all the moms out there — birth mothers, adoptive mothers, stepmothers, foster mothers — those who mother us though we are not theirs… where would we be without you? Today, we’re celebrating the working moms — of all kinds — who juggle the responsibilities of work and family on a daily basis.
According to Pew Research, seven-in-ten mothers with kids younger than 18 were in the labor force in 2015, up from 47% in 1975. In fact, mothers are the primary breadwinners in four-in-ten U.S. families. In 46% of households with a mother and father, both parents are employed full time, up from 31% in 1970.
The reality is, studies show that, even in a household with more than one parent, many moms still carry the majority of responsibility for the operations of the home as well — and, for many, that’s on top of their full-time career. We talked to three of our Buildium Moms, who work in completely different departments and whose day-to-day work responsibilities are vastly different. One characteristic that they do share is that they are all working mothers. We asked them some pretty pointed questions on what it’s like to be a working parent in 2019. Here’s what they had to say …
Rewarding but Not Without its Challenges
Jennifer is a mother of two boys (eight months and seven years old) who is a sales operations analyst at Buildium. Jennifer does wish that she didn’t let “stereotypes or social pressures dictate what’s (my) family” when she was a new parent. Unfortunately, Jennifer isn’t alone here. Roughly eight-in-ten adults (77%) say women face a lot of pressure to be an involved parent, while juggling a full time job. In a world where social media tends to only highlight seemingly perfect families and where “mommy shaming” is a real concern, the pressure for working mothers can feel overwhelming. Ellen, from the product team and mom of a nine-year-old son, echoed Jennifer’s sentiment advising, “Supermom is a myth — take all the help you can get, and take care of yourself first, at least sometimes. You can be more present for, and enjoy, your child(ren) more if you’re not running on fumes.”
Even while reflecting on the lessons learned in their accumulated experiences, all three of them said they thrive on their careers, despite the additional challenges that arise as a result. “The best thing about being a working mother is knowing that I’m setting an example for my kids of how to balance a career with a family,” said Jennifer. “The most challenging part is having to make hard choices and knowing that you can’t make both your job and your family happy 100% of the time.”
Rachel, who works on the Buildium marketing team and is mom to three boys, encourages other working moms to not believe the ‘lie of the perfect mom’. “It’s important that there be enough of ‘you’ for everyone in your life but also maintain your own wholeness. I once heard it referred to as a ‘glorious mess’ and that’s the mindset I try to keep’”
Mothers are Human, Too
What can employers do to help working parents better navigate?While flexible work schedules might feel like table stakes in 2019, it is still very much the exception in corporate America. At Buildium, no matter their parental status, employees are encouraged to bring their whole self to work, which includes encouraging a culture that is able to accommodate the sometimes conflicting dual roles that ‘home’ and ‘work’ present.
Jennifer told us that “Buildium has been an ideal job for me as a working mother. The ability to work from home and/or flex my hours when needed is amazing. I also love that many of my coworkers are parents which makes for a more compassionate and understanding work environment.”
Ellen spoke at length about the support she receives from her colleagues — more specifically her manager. “I feel very lucky — my boss is a very involved father who prioritizes his family, and at the same time he has a huge impact at work, so I feel like I can do the same. I also have the freedom to work from home on the days that I have to do both pick up and drop off, and that is a HUGE bonus in terms of my stress levels, productivity, and quality time with my son.”
When we give mothers (and all working parents for that matter) the latitude and flexibility to work where it “works” for them, businesses can better retain high performing employees — and happy ones at that.
How Companies Could Benefit More from Moms
By keeping moms employed and growing in and into leadership positions, companies benefit from attracting a more diverse workforce, which leads to greater innovation and creativity, lower turnover, easier recruitment, and capturing more of the market. But even with a steady improvement in parent-friendly workplace cultures, there’s still work to be done. Jokes Jennifer, “I’ll know that we’re a fully-invested working-mom culture when a prospective employer offers a free, on-site daycare, spa and gym!”
The reality is that working moms have many critical skills that benefit their employers — all three reflected that, after becoming a mom, they felt they had better general perspective, and were more efficient, direct, and better able to prioritize as a result. What caused this shift? “Working and parenting both require a certain amount of ruthless prioritization and planning — becoming a mom just takes all that and puts it into a higher gear.”
No two working mothers have exactly the same experiences, and there are hundreds of thousands of stories that can be told. “I’m fortunate to have a career that I love and that gives me incredibly satisfying professional challenges and opportunities to tackle every day,” said Rachel. “I also love the challenges and opportunities that parenting a teen and pre-teens brings, because that’s so satisfying too. It’s important to recognize and celebrate all of those moments more than paying attention to any guilt you’re feeling about what you might not be doing. Because, being a working mom can be pretty badass.”
